A Semi-Short Guide to Finding Happiness

Since this is my first post I feel like I'll give a short backstory:

I am an over-thinker. I spend every waking minute thinking – making plans, faking plans, and planning the makes and fakes of my future. There is not a single moment that I don’t have something on my mind. So imagine for a moment being in a long distance relationship that’s been given up on and having the ability to overthink every action, word, or exchange that’s ever occurred. It’s a toxic mix and I knew that but I was scared. I was scared to lose the only love I’ve ever had, the boy who knew me inside and out and sometimes better than I knew myself. That sounds clichéd but sometimes life is one big cliché and it is time people accept that. I began to feel the need to explore and wander aimlessly through the world around me and why shouldn’t I have that ability? I’m only 20 years old. I’ve got an entire life ahead of me to be in love with someone else. I decided it was time to be in love with my number one since 1995, myself. So I started on my search of self awareness and happiness. 

And this is what I found to be true for myself:

1.  Get rid of negative people. This is the very first step to take. Whether you’re in a relationship you don’t want to be a part of anymore or you have bad friends or your family continues to cause you grief – get rid of the negativity. This is also one of the hardest things to do, especially if you love the person who brings you down. But trust me if I can say goodbye to the boy I loved for 8 years, almost anything is possible. The heartbreaks shape us into stronger people, so never be afraid to move on from someone that doesn’t add true value to your life.
2. Find friendly love, not significant other love. Seek out the people that bring you up the most in life. Whether it be your friends, your neighbor, your parents, your coworkers, or even your pet dog, go out and find SOMEONE that makes you smile on a bad day. This person will be your lifeline and confidant in the darkest of times. They will keep you from reaching out to the negative people you’ve left behind. This person is so important when it comes to finding happiness so don’t forget to remind them how much they mean to you.
3. Find a passion. If you’ve always wanted to travel the world, find a way to do it. There are endless opportunities in the world and it is time people started remembering what it means to live. Don’t get used to the routine you’ve fallen into before. Do unexpected things, because that’s exactly what will guide you to the best parts of your adventure. Finding something you love is just as important as finding someone you love. Never be ashamed of the passions you hold because they are a part of who you are and if you can’t accept yourself, how will anyone ever accept the real you?
4. Don’t give up on yourself. There will undoubtedly be struggles you come face to face with along this journey of finding your own happiness but don’t let a speed bump push you down. You are better than that and you deserve every drop of happy tears and every echo of real laughter to fill your heart. Every time you push forward in the face of adversity, you become a better person. Never forget that the only person you owe anything to is yourself – don’t cheat yourself in life.
5. Accept being alone. Being alone and being lonely are far different. To be able to spend time with yourself and accept that you don’t need to rely on other people constantly is a life changing thing. Some of the best nights have been those I’ve spent alone reading or Netflix binging. I’ve learned what style of writing I like and what shows I find interesting. I’ve found my favorite foods to make myself. Because of the time I’ve spent alone I know who I am right now and the things that make ME happy. Choosing to be alone will not fill you with loneliness. Loneliness forms from a lack of love and companionship but how can you be alone when you love yourself and the life you’re living?
6. Keep moving forward. There is no use looking back or focusing too strongly on the present. Of course you should take in the wonderful experiences you’re having but you should not get comfortable. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my own journey, it’s that you can’t expect things to happen a certain way. This is a hard concept to fully grip especially when you’re an over-thinker like me. But I promise you will find more happiness if you keep moving forward and accepting the changes that are thrown your way. If you spend too much time planning your future, you will have missed the chances to live it. Roll with the punches.

There is no right or wrong way to find your own happiness because everyone is different and everyone has their own experiences to shape their lives. But one thing I’ve learned since letting myself be free is that I am happy. Very simply put, I smile more, I laugh more, I tell people I love them more. I see the world in a positive light and I am open to experiencing new adventures in life; this is something that I would not be able to say 6 months ago. I have myself to thank for taking the first step and I have life to thank for giving me the very best of friends and throwing all the unexpected punches my way. My happiness is something I’m proud of and everyone should be able to say they love themselves unconditionally. Go out and find whatever it is that you need to make yourself happy. After all, that’s what makes life worth living.